Jewlarious Jokes 9/9/2022

Today my rabbi knocked at my door asking for a small donation towards the local mikva. I gave him a glass of water.


Curious about Moishe Goldstein’s great success, other attorneys paid a private eye to have him followed. The private eye carefully followed Mr Goldstein as he drove to a community about 50 miles away.

Upon arriving in the community, Mr Goldstein drives right up to this small town post office, walks in and purchases “love stamps,” then begins placing them on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

The curiosity of the private eye is getting the better of him, he goes up to Mr Goldstein and asks, “What are you doing?”

Mr Goldstein responds, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'”

“But why?” asks the man.

“I’m a divorce lawyer,” Mr Goldstein replies.


Businessman Abe Greenberg phones a law office and says: “I want to speak to my lawyer.”

The receptionist replies, “I’m sorry Mr Greenberg, but he died last week.”

The next day Abe phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, “I told you yesterday, he died last week.”

The next day he calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, “Mr Greenberg, I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?”

The guy says, “It gives me such pleasure to hear you say that.”