Jewlarious Jokes 9/23/2022

Mr and Mrs Goldberg had just got married. On their way to their honeymoon, Mr Goldberg asked his new wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”

She replied, “Darling, I would have married you no matter who had left you a fortune.”


Four rabbis engaged in theological arguments and it was always three against one. Finally, the odd rabbi out appealed to a higher authority.

“G-d!” he cried. “I know I’m right! Please, a sign to prove it to them!”

Suddenly, from a clear day, it snowed. “See? A sign!”

“No,” said one of the others. “A little snow in winter is unusual?”

So again, “Please, G-d, a bigger sign!”

A huge icicle sent a tree tumbling. “Now is that not a sign?!”

“A sign of nature!” they insisted, again making it three to one.

Just as the rabbi was about to beg for an even bigger sign, the sky blackened and a booming voice intoned: “HEEEEEEEE’S RIIIIIIIGHT!”

The rabbi, hands on hips, said, “Well?!”

The others shrugged, “Big deal. So now it’s three to two.”


A Jewish mother and her four year old walked along the beach when suddenly a gigantic wave rolled in, sweeping the little girl out to sea.

“Oh, G-d,” lamented the mother, her face toward heaven. “This is my only baby, the love of my life. I’ve cherished every moment with her. Please, G-d! Bring her back to me and I’ll go to synagogue every day!”

Suddenly, another gigantic wave rolled in and deposited the girl back on the sand, safe and sound. The mother looked up and said, ” … she had a hat on….”