Rabbi Rosenberg answers the phone. “Hello, is this Rabbi Rosenberg?”
“This is the IRS. Can you help us?”
“Do you know a Shlomo Epstein?”
“Is he a member of your congregation?”
“Did he donate $10,000 to the synagogue?”
A Texan is visiting Israel and feeling thirsty, he stops at a house along the road. “Can you give me a drink?” asks the Texan
“Of course,” says the Israeli, and he invited the Texan to come in.
“What do you do?” asks the Texan.
“I raise chicken” says the Israeli.”Really?” says the Texan.
“I’m also a farmer. How much land do you have?”
“Well, out front it’s 50 meters, as you can see, and in the back we have close to 100 meters of property. What about your place?”
“Well,” says the Texan, “on my ranch, I have breakfast and get into the car, and I drive and drive and I don’t reach the end of the ranch until dinnertime.”
“Really,” replies the Israeli. “I once had a car like that too.”
A passenger ship pushed off from the port in Haifa and traveled a route around the Mediterranean Sea. During the trip, one passenger noticed a bearded man on a small island who was shouting desperately and waiving his hands.
“Who is that,” the passenger asked the captain.
“I have no idea,” replied the captain, “but he seems like a strange fellow.”
“Why’s that?” asked the passenger.
“Because every time we pass by this small island he keeps yelling at us like a maniac!”