A man walked to the top of a hill to talk to God.
The man asked, “God, what’s a million years to you?”
And God said “A minute.”
“Well, what’s a million dollars to you?”
and God said: “A penny”
Then the man asked:
“God…..can I have a penny?”
And God said:
“Sure…..In a minute.”
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?”
One man stepped forward. “Aye, Captain, I know how to pray.”
“Good,” said the captain, “you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets – we’re one short.”
***
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, “Okay, Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”
“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?
“I don’t like her.”