Moishe and Miriam had been arguing of late. Moishe was a homebody but Miriam wanted to go out and explore the world, learn about herself and most importantly, try to figure things out on her own. Miriam’s birthday was coming up so Moishe thought he’d get her a present that encapsulated her new outlook on life: he got her a ball of yarn, knitting needles, and a how-to-knit book. The card read “Scarf, some assembly required.”
The Rosenbergs had been somewhat concerned about some of the boys that their daughter Sarah was bringing home. They of course wanted an upstanding hardworking and all around nice young man to make their daughter happy. One night Sarah brought home a boy to meet her parents. They were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, spiked hair and shaved in the back of his head was a Jewish star.
The Rosenbergs pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said Mrs. Rosenberg diplomatically, “We talked about a boy who was nice and hard working. He doesn’t seem like that… ”
“Oh please, Mom,” Sarah replied, “If he wasn’t nice and hardworking, then why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
Mrs. Cohen has been suffering from arthritis. On the advice of her daughter-in-law, she goes to see Dr. Rubinstein, a specialist.
After a long visit, Dr. Rubinstein prescribes some medication and sends Mrs. Cohen on her way.
After a few weeks, Dr. Rubinstein calls Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.”
Mrs. Cohen answers, “So did my arthritis!”