To begin Shabbat with a laugh
A little girl watching her mother prepare a brisket for the holiday meal asked,
“Why did you cut off that piece of meat before you put it in the pot?”
Her mom pondered the question and answered,
“ I really don’t know. I have always used Bubbe’s recipe and she always cut a piece off. Let’s ask her!”
They went to grandma’s condo and the little girl asked the question, “Why do you cut off a piece of the brisket, Bubbe?”
Bubbe was stumped. “I have always followed my Mama’s recipe. Why don’t we ask her next weekend? We can visit her in the Home.”
As agreed the little girl, her mom, and her Bubbe visited the Nursing Home.
In one voice they asked,
“Why do you cut a piece of meat off the brisket before you cook it?”
The old woman nodded sagely and gave her answer without hesitation…
“Because I never had a pot big enough!”
Moishe Wasserman went to the kosher meat restaurant by his house and the head waiter came over and greeted him with a smile.
“Good morning sir, may I take your order?” the waiter asked.
“Yes,” replied Moishe. “I’d like two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it’s runny, and the other so overcooked it’s tough and hard to eat. Also, a steak that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; margarine straight from the deep freeze so that it’s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm.”
“That’s a complicated order sir,” said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.”
Moishe replied, “Oh? I don’t understand – that’s what I got yesterday!”
One day, Betty goes to her dentist and asks him how much it will cost to extract a wisdom tooth.
“$186,” the dentist says.
“That’s a ridiculous amount,” Betty says. “Isn’t there a cheaper way?”
“Well,” the dentist says, “if I don’t use an anesthetic, I can knock it down to $120.”
“That’s still too expensive,” Betty says.
“Okay,” says the dentist. “If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I could get away with charging you only $40.”
“No,” moans Betty, “it’s still too much.”
“Hmm,” says the dentist, scratching his head. “If I let one of my students do it without anesthetic and use a pair of old pliers – just for the experience, you understand, I suppose I could charge you just $20.”
“Marvellous,” says the woman, “book my husband Moishe for next Tuesday!”