Rabbi Adler was out for a leisurely Sunday afternoon ride on his bicycle, when he came upon Little Moishie Goldberg from his shul trying to sell a lawn mower. “How much do you want for the mower, Moishie?” asked the Rabbi.
“I just want enough money so I can buy a bicycle,” said Moishie. After a moment of consideration, the Rabbi asked, “Will you take my bike in trade for it?”
Moishie asked if he could try it out first, and after adjusting the seat and riding the bike around a little he said, “Rabbi, you’ve got yourself a deal.”
The Rabbi took the mower and began to try to crank it. He pulled on the string a few times with no response from the mower. The Rabbi called Moishie over and said, “I can’t get this mower to start.”
The boy said, “That’s because you have to swear at it to get it started. That’s what my Dad does.”
Rabbi Adler said, “I am a Rabbi, I don’t even know how to swear.”
Moishie looked at him happily and said, “Just keep pulling on that string. It’ll come to you!”
***
A rabbi stands before his congregation on Rosh Hashana and reports to them that there is a massive hole in the roof of the synagogue.
“Now I have good news and bad news for you,” the Rabbi continues. “The good news is that we have the money to repair it. The bad news is that the money is in your pockets.”
***
Mrs. Epstein, A Hebrew School teacher at Beth Israel Congregation had just concluded her lesson in preparation of Yom Kippur and wanted to make sure she had made her point. She asked her class, “Can anyone tell me what you must do before you can obtain forgiveness for transgressing one of the commandments?”
There was a short pause and then, from the back of the room, a small boy spoke up and said, “Transgress one of the commandments.”