Goldstein had been going to the same restaurant for 10 years. Every day he starts with the same thing, barley soup. One day, as soon as he comes in, the waiter brings the soup over to his table.
“I want you to taste the soup,” Goldstein says as the waiter starts to walk away.
“What’s the matter?” the waiter asks, “Every day you take the same barley soup.”
“I want you to taste the soup,” Goldstein repeats.
“You don’t want the barley soup?” the waiter says, “I’ll bring you something else.”
“I want you to taste the soup,” Goldstein says once more.
“Is it too cold? Too salty? G-d forbid is there a fly in it? What’s wrong with it?” said the waiter.
“Just taste the soup,” insists Goldstein.
“Okay, okay, I’ll taste the soup,” says the waiter, wearily. “Where’s the spoon?”
“Aha!”
***
Two Jewish women were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser. The first lady says, “So nu, how’s your family?”
The second one responds, “Oh just fine. My daughter is married to the most wonderful man. She never has to cook; he always takes her out. She never has to clean; he got her a housekeeper. She never has to work; he’s got such a good job. She never has to worry about the children, he got her a nanny.”
She continues with a question to the first lady, “So how is your son these days?”
The first woman says, “Just awful. He is married to such a witch of a woman. She makes him take her out to dinner every night, she never cooks a dish. She made him get her a housekeeper, G-d forbid she should vacuum a carpet! He has to work like a dog because she won’t get a job and she never takes care of their children, because she made him get her a nanny!”
***
There was a man called Yaakov who lived near a river in America. He was a very religious man.
One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Yaakov was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While he was sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Yaakov to get in the boat. Yaakov said, “No, that’s OK, G-d will take care of me.” So, the man in the boat drove off.
The water rose, so Yaakov climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along and the person in that one told Yaakov to get in. He replied, “No, that’s OK, G-d will take care of me.” The person in the boat left.
The water rose even more, and Yaakov climbed on his chimney. Then a helicopter came and lowered a ladder. The man in the helicopter told Yaakov to climb up the ladder and get in. He told the man, “That’s OK.” The pilot said, “Are you sure?” Yaakov said, “Yeah, I’m sure G-d will take care of me.”
Finally, the water rose too high and Yaakov drowned. He got up to Heaven and spoke with the angel at the gate. Yaakov questioned, “Why didn’t G-d take care of me! What happened?”
The angel replied, “Well, He sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?”